


I'm Lovin' You

by ama



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cheesy, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Late Night Food Adventures, M/M, Public Display of Affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-25 22:43:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12045828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ama/pseuds/ama
Summary: tumblr prompt: Malarkey/Speirs + drunk at McDonalds





	I'm Lovin' You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wildwoods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwoods/gifts).



> This was DELIGHTFUL. Sorry for any funky formatting issues, this is a mobile post because my laptop couldn't handle this delightfulness.

“I want fries,” Malarkey declared, his head lolling on Ron’s shoulder.

“You already said that.”

“I didn’t hear you order them.”

“Why can’t _you_ order them?”

“Because. You’re the one who’s ordering.”

He looked at the cashier with a _can you believe this guy?_ expression, and realized that she was biting her lip to keep from laughing. How rude. It was also irritatingly bright in this McDonald’s, so Malarkey let his eyes drift shut and leaned against Ron even more. God, he was tired. They’d been dancing for hours, and also drinking, so he was probably tipsy. Well, definitely tipsy, possibly drunk, and being drunk always made him tired and a bit of a lech, too.

Not that he was being a lech now, because they were in public, so he was making sure to keep all of his hands in acceptable places, even if his general body was sort of on top of his boyfriend’s general body. But that didn’t count if they were still vertical, did it?

“Can we get a ten-piece chicken nuggets…” Ron began, staring up at the menu.

“Twenty,” Malarkey corrected.

“No, we’re not getting twenty. Two large fries--”

“Is there a size bigger than large?” Malarkey asked the cashier, cracking his eyes open so he wasn’t being rude. “There was a whole documentary, wasn’t there, about bigger-than-large fries?”

“I don’t think that’s what--”

“Shut up,” Ron said, flapping his hand in Malarkey’s face. “Don’t listen to him, he’s drunk,” he said to the cashier.

“That was rude!” Malarkey admonished. “And you’re drunk too.”

“I’m not _as_ drunk.”

“Still drunk,” Malarkey grumbled. “Oh shit, we’re not making you uncomfortable, are we?” he asked the cashier. “We can stop talking about being drunk.”

“Dude, I work at a 24-hour McDonald’s,” the cashier snorted. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not drunk,” Ron insisted again.

“I mean, it’s none of my business, but--you were staring at the menu for like twenty minutes. Also it’s like ten degrees out and you’re wearing a crop top with no coat on.”

Ron straightened and fixed her with one of his intimidating stares.

“Oooooh, she got youuuuu,” Malarkey teased.

“I--was--hot,” he said, incensed. “Not drunk.”

“Okay, okay,” the cashier laughed, holding up her hands. “Is there anything else you wanted? I’ve got two large fries and a ten-piece nugget--”

“ _Twenty_.”

“He’s not paying,” Ron said, flapping his hand again. “Yeah, I also want a hamburger--”

“Fuck you!” Malarkey said indignantly, because they had been dating for long enough for Ron to know his opinion on cheeseless burgers.

“It’s for _me_. A hamburger and a cheeseburger, and three apple pies, and two regular sodas. That’s it.”

“I want fries,” Malarkey repeated, and Ron sighed.

“Can we get a third fry? Small.”

“Large!”

“Medium.”

“Can I give you some advice?” Malarkey griped to the cashier. “Don’t ever date men. They’re the _worst_.”

“Way ahead of you, bro,” she grinned as she keyed in the order, and Malarkey instantly perked up. He actually managed to stand up almost all the way, and then realized that was a terrible idea and leaned against the counter instead.

“Oh my god are you _gay_?”

“Yep.”

“That’s awesome! Us too!”

“Yeah, I kinda figured. If that’s all, it’s going to be $15.06”

“How am I the worst?” Ron asked with a frown as he handed over his debit card, looking genuinely miffed. “You said you wanted to go dancing and I took you dancing, then you said you wanted fries and I’m buying you fries. I even got a bottle of champagne for no reason. That’s the kind of romantic bullshit that’s supposed to make you a good boyfriend.”

Malarkey pursed his lips and glanced at his new best friend. She shrugged.

“Two large fries and a medium is still a lot of fries,” she pointed out. “Plus he’s kind of cute, in that generic white boy way, and he’s got nice abs.”

“Excellent points,” he said gravely. “And you’re coming at this with a lot of knowledge, so of course I trust your judgement. I guess I’ll keep him.”

He pushed himself up off the counter and collided with Ron again, kissing his cheek.

“You guys are making my night, seriously,” the cashier said. She shook her head and pulled two empty cups from under the counter. “Here you go. It should be out in just a couple minutes.”

“I’m about to blow your mind,” Ron said seriously as he wrapped an arm around Malarkey’s waist. “You know why this is our favorite restaurant?”

“’Cuz it’s the only place in town you can get this quantity of fries for this price at this hour?” she guessed.

“Close,” Malarkey said encouragingly.

“Could not be further from the truth,” Ron contradicted. “Because I’m Ronald, and this is my boyfriend Donald.”

The cashier looked from one of them to the other, and this time wasn’t able to contain her laughter. Malarkey grinned to himself and snuggled up against Ron’s shoulder again. Ron, the giant softie, turned towards him and quietly kissed the top of Malarkey’s head. Yeah, this was _so_ the best date ever.


End file.
